Category Archives: Just for Fun

Things that make me laugh.

Is Writing a Book Like Having a Baby?

I’m posting over at AuthorScoop today on the oft-used metaphor that writing a book is like having a baby.  Can you guess how this one-month postpartum  mom feels about that?

KILL YOUR DARLING BABIES? OH MY.  MCCREERY AND BURT WEIGH IN.

The Question: How do you, as a writer, relate to the gestation, childbirth, and parenting metaphor as it pertains to your work?  In short, is your book your baby?

The Short Answer: No.  Writing a book does not make you fat.

The Long Answer: In which I compare gestation and childbirth to the writing process.

(Disclaimer: I write this while 8 months into my fourth pregnancy.  Which, as I’ve written about before, means that I am now a constantly grumpy person.)

Below you will find my very scientific research comparing several components of the two situations.  I did this by fabricating conducting a completely unbiased and very real interview with myself a writer and a pregnant woman…

Read more of the post here.

The Question: How do you, as a writer, relate to the gestation, childbirth, and parenting metaphor as it pertains to your work?  In short, is your book your baby?

The Short Answer: No.  Writing a book does not make you fat.

The Long Answer: In which I compare gestation and childbirth to the writing process.

(Disclaimer: I write this while 8 months into my fourth pregnancy.  Which, as I’ve written about before, means that I am now a constantly grumpy person.)

Below you will find my very scientific research comparing several components of the two situations.  I did this by fabricating conducting a completely unbiased and very real interview with myself a writer and a pregnant woman.

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Old Spice Hero Gets Personal

So, you know the funny ad campaign Old Spice has been running?

Well, check out his personalized responses to fans here.  Love it.

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Cake Wrecks does Kid’s Lit

And they are not wrecks at all.  I’d take any of these beautiful cakes (or all of them – ha!).

Except maybe The Giving Tree, for creepy-dependent-no-boundaries-story factor.

But, as for the rest of them, feast your eyes!

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A Tiny Rant and a Rave

Oh, poor, sad neglected blog – I haven’t missed you at all.

Seriously.  Every time I’ve thought to write a post, I’ve restrained, mostly because I think it would involve my head exploding.  The reality is that the wonderful, blossomy, happy days of the second trimester are over.  And I am the ultimate crabby person.  There’s nothing like pregnancy hormones to humble you into the realization that you can, in fact, be a horrible person.

Example:

Stranger in the grocery store: Wow, how much longer do you have left?

Me: Two months.

Stranger: You’re about to pop.  How much bigger can you get?

Me: (Head explodes).  Er…thanks.

**Public Service Announcement: The only appropriate comment on a pregnant woman’s appearance is “You look fantastic!”  Or something similarly untrue but flattering.**

More examples:

Husband: Hon, can you give me a hand…

Me: (Head explodes).  Mmm-hmmm.

G: Mom, I need you to…

Me: (Head explodes).  Just a minute.

Sun: Beams down on me, giving me a beautiful day.

Me: Head explodes.

Yes, it is that absurd.  Really, July can’t come soon enough – for me or my poor family.  The best I can do is try to laugh at the funny parts.  That, and relax.  I still do this relaxation/breathing preparation for labor DVD most afternoons.  It goes something like this:

Woman on the video who is supposedly in her third trimester but looks like she simply had too much fettuccine for dinner last night: Breathe.  Picture your baby’s face.

Me: Trying to inhale and exhale deeply.

E: Tackles me from behind and gives me a bear hug.

Me: Thanks, sweetie, but mommy (inhale) needs a little space right now (exhale).

Fake pregnant woman: That’s right.  Breathing is so important during labor and delivery.

G: Giggles.  Bumps E out of the way.

E: Fake cry.

Me: G, please leave mommy’s bottom alone.  (inhale)

G: More giggles.  E tries to climb over my shoulder.

Me: Moves up on a chair to be out of reach.  (exhale)

G: I need to get up on that chair right now.

Fake pregnant woman: A relaxed mom is a happy mom.

This usually ends with the sounds of two little boys fighting over a truck drowning out the calm wind chime soundtrack and fake pregnant woman’s voice.  The bonus of this exercise is not that I feel more relaxed (which I don’t), but I usually can laugh at how ridiculous the whole thing is.  And then we all go get a snack and read a story together.  Though I try to avoid the picture book I just checked out from the library called “Grump”.  It’s too convicting.

So, online friends, I may hibernate away for the next few months, only poking my head out to indulge in a rant about someone else telling me I must have twins in there.  Or to share a laugh with you.  Which is the rave part of this post.  This Awkward Situation Survival Guide had me nearly in tears.  And if you don’t find it funny, or if it offends you, or whatever – don’t tell me, just chalk it up to pregnancy hormones.  Otherwise, my head might explode.

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Technology: The Killer of Romance?

Thanks to Eugene Cho for the link.

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This makes me laugh every time I see it.

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COOKIES!

My wonderful husband surprised me with a belated birthday present.

And what do you think it was?

These.  Amazing.  Cookies. An entire boxful of my very own.

Columbia, SC has pretty slim pickings when it comes to vegetarian options.  I mean, this is the place where, when I was in the hospital after delivering my first son, I received a side of brisket with my “vegetarian entree” (a veggie burger, of course).  Nice.

And there’s only one healthy supermarket here that I know of that carries these vegan cookies.  So, whenever I see one, I snatch a Phenomenal Pumpkin Spice Cookie.  But everyone else must love them too, because only about 50% of the time are they in stock.

Now, I have a secret stash designated FOR MARISSA ONLY – WRITING INSPIRATION INSIDE.  Bliss.

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